Dear BitBit,

You're going to be a big sister! My mommy is making you and your little sister custom "that's hot" tee-shirts, but I really don't think your mommy will be allowed to wear one because she isn't that hot anymore. Maybe if she showers...

Have you seen the jewelry I designed? And did I mention I have a book?

What have you been doing lately - besides peeing and pooping all over your tacky little "dog's crib?"

Anyway, I hope your mommy and daddy change the baby's diaper more often than they take you out to go potty.

Ooh, sorry, didn't mean to be rude - but I AM a bitch!

Love,
Tinkerbell